With the season a little over a month away, I'd like to re-introduce everybody to your blog lords slash boy band members. Since this is a basketball site (honest!), I can imagine some of you would like to know if Jordan, Derek, Tanner and myself have ever played or frankly know anything about playing basketball. I would like to quell those demons with a simple "Yes, we have."
Jordan Sams - 6' 3.75", 212 lbs, 6' 10.75" wingspan, 6.7% body fat, 35.0 Max Vert, 9 Bench Press, 10.56 Lane Agility
On the courts near the University of Nevada-Las Vegas, you'd be hard-pressed to find anybody that hasn't heard the name "Jsams". A deadly spot-up shooter with quicker hands than Damon Stoudamire circa 1997, Sams typically plays the role of distributor on the offensive end. He's got the tightest handles the Greater Henderson area has ever seen, switching seamlessly between hands. Nobody's better at throwing the alley-oop. If Bob Cousy and Gary Payton had a child, Jordan Sams would blow by that baby. Reportedly GTL's three times a day.
More after the squiggle.
Mike Levin - 6' 7.5", 225 lbs, 7' 1.5" wingspan, 7.6% body fat, 34.0 Max Vert, 10 Bench Press, 10.84 Lane Agility
Killer instinct Killer instinct Killer instinct Killer instinct Killer instinct Killer instinct Killer instinct Killer instinct Killer instinct Killer instinct Killer instinct Killer instinct Killer instinct Killer instinct Killer instinct Killer instinct Killer instinct Killer instinct Killer instinct Killer instinct Killer instinct Killer instinct Killer instinct Killer instinct Killer instinct Killer instinct Killer instinct Killer instinct Killer instinct Killer instinct Killer instinct Killer instinct Killer instinct Killer instinct Killer instinct Killer instinct Killer instinct Killer instinct Killer instinct Killer instinct Killer instinct Killer instinct.
Derek Bodner - 6' 7.5", 258 lbs, 7' 4.25" wingspan, 11.4% body fat, 33.5 Max Vert, 25 Bench Press, 11.53 Lane Agility
A force inside. Using his monstrous thunderthighs and uncanny positioning, "The Body" has been terrorizing tweeners inside for years. While he's lost a step or two as he nears his thirties, he combines an efficient post game with a reliable mid-range jump shot that keeps defenders honest. Defensively, he's relentless and moves his hips well, blocking off angles for the opposition. He's got a Reggie Evans-esque level of toughness, only without the crotch grabs and better diction. He also knows every single one of his stats and watches himself on Synergy nightly.
Tanner Steidel - 6' 10.25", 268 lbs, 7'1" wingspan, 6.0% body fat, 26.5 Max Vert, 16 Bench Press, 12.07 Lane Agility
Physical specimen that has defined the power forward position in both Allentown and College Park. Models his game, life, and wardrobe after Bryant "Big Country" Reeves. Has adopted the Dikembe Mutombo "finger wag" except he has added the Cabbage Patch to it, very flavorful. He holds the record for most three second violations called on him in University of Maryland history. While Tanner does have a penchant for sleeping with all of the team cheerleaders, he does not tweet in the locker room during halftime, and he's always a gentleman. He has no jumpshot outside of six feet. Unstoppable around the rim. Nickname: Milkman.
So there you have it. A nice team to build around sure, but an even better group of bloggers to bring you everything useful and especially useless about the Philadelphia 76ers. We're basically like the A-Team, only with cooler voices and much better smiles. For the record, all of the measurements were taken from other players via Draft Express. If you can figure out which ones they are, I will check you into a mental health center because dag gummit if that ain't impressive.