Liberty Ballers: All Posts by Michael Levin

NBA Draft Lottery: Who Should the Sixers Send?

2013-05-20T15:43:01Z

The NBA Draft Lottery is tomorrow. I am full of excitement. Best case: The Sixers get a top 3 pick. Worst case: We get to see what kind of Morey-esque maneuvering General Manager Excel Spreadsheet Sam Hinkie does with the 11th pick and two high second-rounders. Dance for me, Spreadsheet.

I'd been wondering who the Sixers would send to the Lottery for a while now and I'm just getting around to writing this article after Adam Aron already announced via twitter that he and Josh Harris would be the ones to represent the Sixers in what should really be a double-elimination Ping-Pong tournament. Well, that sucks. Not that I don't love me some Josh Harris (and Adam!), but it's not a flashy choice at a time when they could have taken the opportunity to get funky in their first Lotto as owners.

So I've got better choices for them to consider post-hoc and years to come.

Spencer Hawes

I know what you're thinking. Why have Spencer represent the Sixers when he will be here AT MOST one more season and hopefully not even that? Deliver an ultimatum. Spence, if you don't get us a top three pick, you become a free agent. If you do, here's $5 million extra. No downside.

This is legal and plausible and not to be questioned.

A TI-83 Calculator

For a few reasons. One, HINKIE NUMBERS BITCH. Two, the odds of the Sixers winning one of the three spots add up to 2.9%, so the calculator's totally on top of that. Three, you can spell BOOBS on it.

Doug Collins

Because there's no way Doug can not play the rookie the Sixers draft, since they won't have drafted him yet. It's the perfect plan! Plus, the self-aggrandizing quotes would be just delightful.

Tony DiLeo

Having a mostly personality-vacant person as the job-stripped Face of the Franchise tickles me.

And here are just a few other options:

Efthimios Rentzias
an orange
a first edition VHS of Clear and Present Danger
Lenny Dykstra
Vrnan Maxwall
Adam Aron's Twitter Account
Howard Eskin
double-sided tape
Madam Pomfrey via FaceTime from the hospital wing.
Helen the new Sixers mascot, who is just a well-put-together woman that's considering retirement from her middle-management job, but her oldest son is about to start college and she could really use the money because her husband is an electrician and work these days is spotty at best but he's hoping the summer will bring good things for them as a family because recently they had to rent out their shore house in Long Beach Island where they used to go every weekend with a family friend but ever since her and her husband got divorced, they've really lost touch with the exception of a birthday card or the occasional text. So she probably won't retire just yet.

NBA LOTTERY TOMORROW OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD.

A Very Important Letter to the Sixers from 6-Year-Old Me

2013-05-18T15:42:40Z

Shortly after I arrived in Philadelphia from LA last night (I was already eating the Wawa samich and Tastykake we picked up on the way home), my mom pulled out a notebook. She said she'd been looking through old boxes and pulled out something Sixers-related (kinda disappointed she didn't say "Sixersy." Get your act together, Mom.) that I did when I was younger.

And so it is with great glee and nostalgia that I present to you this letter I wrote to the Sixers.

Yes, I know, this is excellent. But to simply leave it at that is not in my nature. Let's break it down.

1. Before we get to the note itself, I have to don a detective's cap and figure out when exactly this letter was written. Vernon Maxwell, despite being my role model throughout my childhood and adolescence, was only on the Sixers for one season. One glorious season -- in 1995-96, when the Sixers finished 18-64 under head coach John Lucas. Mad Max averaged 16 points on a crisp 39% clip and played against the Hawks exactly twice that year. January 19th, in Philadelphia and April 6th, in Atlanta. I'm going to assume it was the 19th for a few reasons. One: By the second meeting with Maxwell, the Sixers were already 44 games under .500. I was 6, but I wasn't an idiot. Two: Mike At Age 6 would be much more likely to sit inside and write a letter in the freezing cold January rather than April. Thus, I can conclude with reasonable certainty that this letter was written by a 6-year-old Mike Levin on a chilly afternoon, January 19th, 1996. And we proceed.

2. It was not Jerry Stackhouse, Clarence Weatherspoon, or my future son's namesake Sharone Wright who I was pleading for victory. It was Vernon Maxwell. Or, more specifically, Vrnan Maxwall.

3. The post-script is longer than the initial letter, which totals five words. Five simple words that I felt a burning desire in my 6-year-old loins to tell the Sixers. Speaking of loins, this was the year after the infamous 1995 Eastern Conference Finals Knicks-Pacers-Ewing Knickerboxers incident, which you already know if you follow me on Twitter.

4. What did I have against Mookie Blaylock? My violent sports tendencies are on full display for all to see here. Were I to ever attack an athlete, journalists would go back, see this letter and go "Oh, that makes sense." Mookie was lucky he caught my hatred at an early, unformed age.

5. What is a pank? Could it be "park"? That'd be mixing up sports. Maybe "paint"? That seems the less-Dextery answer. Perhaps he was just penetrating and I wanted someone (LaSalle Thompson, probably) to bump him off his path. I'm open to suggestions/therapy.

6. Clearly I thought Mookie was related to future Texas Ranger Hank Blalock, hence the spelling confusion.

7. Spelling: Not great.

8. Handwriting: Fairly excellent, with the minor blemish on running out of page for "Maxwell", which still happens to me today, and the Y in "you".

9. Word Choice: "Tonight" twice? I'm gonna have to give partial credit here.

10. Style: Absolutely impeccable.

The Sixers would go on to break my heart that night, losing to Mookie and the Hawks 82-77. Maxwell tallied an efficient 20 points on 14 shots off the bench, but Blaylock's 23-6-4 and impressive rebounding efforts from Grant Long and Craig Ehlo proved too much for the 7-29 Sixers to handle. I hadn't been driving the Tank Train at age 6, otherwise I would've asked them to lose and lose soundly. Allen Iverson was the result of all that losing just a few months later. Thank you, Mookie.

This is how I'm going to blog from now on.

Finally.

2013-05-16T17:13:15Z

A plan.

The Sam Hinkie hiring is second to only the 2008 Phillies in my hierarchy of Good Things That Have Happened To Professional Sports Teams I Root For. And certainly the most important thing the Sixers have done in my lifetime.

***

I am not a normal person. I spend hundreds of hours a year writing about a basketball team that, most of the time, I want to lose. I just snacked on bacon at midnight on a Wednesday and I am in good shape. Last week, I went on a date with a girl because of Harry Potter. Backstreet Boys just came up on my iTunes and I didn't even think about changing it.

I couldn't be any more self-aware that my opinions and interests are not shared by the populace. And especially not the predominantly ass-backwards populace of Philadelphia Sports Fans.

***

The Sixers have not had a concrete plan in decades. Iverson wasn't a plan, he was a highly unique and highly flawed player that they built a little shack of a team around because they didn't know what else to do. Since they traded AI, there's been no plan. No roadmap to championship contention they had any intention of following aside from 1. Get Guys We Think Are Good 2. Cross Fingers 3. Profit.

Well, we're not in Kansas anymore.

WE TALK A LOT ABOUT PROCESS, NOT OUTCOME, AND TRYING TO CONSISTENTLY TAKE ALL THE BEST INFORMATION YOU HAVE AND MAKE GOOD DECISIONS.

Sam Hinkie and Josh Harris will operate with an end goal in mind. Sam Hinkie and Josh Harris will implement a system and acquire players that fit that particular system. Sam Hinkie and Josh Harris will adhere to the process, not the result. Sam Hinkie and Josh Harris will be patient.

But most importantly, Sam Hinkie and Josh Harris will be around a very long time.

***

I cannot tell you what a tremendous feeling this is, because you already know. Competence has been long ignored. No longer.

The Sixers are the smartest guys in the room. The Sixers won't stand idly by while other teams craftily move up and down in the draft. The Sixers will shortly have a real life basketball team that is fun to watch. The Sixers won't be The Sixers.

THE FACT THAT JOSH WOULD STAND UP AFTER SUCH A FAILURE AND SAY THAT IS A DECISION HE WOULD MAKE AGAIN -- THAT MEANS A LOT TO SOMEONE LIKE ME.

I would argue that this move is a bigger deal than the Andrew Bynum trade. Bynum was one player -- one very, very good player -- that seemingly dropped into their lap when the perfect deal came along. 99% of teams would make that move, even with Intern GM driving the train. There was no telling, really, how much things would change.

This represents a philosophical shift in the way the organization will be run. A complete and total overhaul of the team-building elements of this franchise. Bynum was a makeover. This is liposuction.

***

It's at the point right now where I need to invent new words to illustrate how excited I am about this. Painful, Futile, and Frustrating are the first three words that auto-populate in my online thesaurus. I have no idea how to write about a non-painful, non-futile, and non-frustrating basketball team. This will be my ultimate test.

I'm the cool girl who's terrified of commitment that finally gets swept off her feet by the right guy. I'm Lizzy Caplan.

I have no choice but to trust everything they do. We have an owner and a GM who get it. They will find a coach who gets it. If the populace isn't on board now, they will be. The Sixers will contend for a championship someday soon. Not today. But soon.

Persizzling. I am Persizzling.

SB Nation NBA Playoff Thread: Knicks-Pacers, Warriors-Spurs

2013-05-14T22:45:04Z

The Sixers have hired Sam Hinkie to be their GM. Nothing can get me down, even hosting a playoff thread as a Lottery-bound team. Suck it, winners.

POSTING AND TOASTING! INDY CORNROWS!

GOLDEN STATE OF MIND! POUNDING THE ROCK!

Great sites all. But two of them will be sad tonight. And my money's on the coastal teams. Here we go for another fun night of yelling about teams we don't care about.

Pour One Out for Tony DiLeo, Company Man

2013-05-14T15:34:40Z

When the Sixers traded Andre Iguodala last summer, I wrote a long, flowery post about the under-appreciated quasi-star that praised his time here and sent him off to the Grey Havens of Denver with grace and respect.

I won't do that for Tony DiLeo. But maybe somebody should.

Dude's been around the Sixers since 1990. Do you know how many things have happened since 1990? Laptops, Doug Christie, Gogurt. The entire head coaching reigns of Doug Moe, Johnny Davis, Fred Carter, and John Lucas. The entirety of Jrue Holiday's LIFE.

He went from Assistant GM to coach back to Assistant GM then to GM last year. And you always got the feeling that he was just doing what was asked of him. Dude was a Bloodrider for the Sixers for 23 years! His Khals were Rod Thorn and Ed Stefanski and Doug Collins. Was he a puppet? Yeah, probably. But I think you gotta respect a guy with the strangest career trajectory of all time, that just really did whatever he had to for the organization. Who did Tony DiLeo serve? He served the realm.

Bodner: Hinkie Hire Was All Josh Harris

Do we really know what Tony DiLeo can do as a GM? Probably not, which is weird. I don't feel like we really know him at all. We know who Rod Thorn was (basically Cartman at his computer from the World of Warcraft Episode minus some fat), we know Stefanski, and we certainly know Doug. Can we say anything for sure about the things DiLeo valued in a team or on the court?

The Sixers are introducing Sam Hinkie at a press conference today at 4:15 EST. It's been assumed but not confirmed that DiLeo is out. While Rod Thorn, Doug Collins, and Julius Erving collect paychecks for "consulting", DiLeo is expected to get the boot. I don't think there's any other way to handle it -- they probably offered him the assistant GM job, but in an NBA front office, do you really have to get up to get down? -- but it's certainly a shame.

He's a Company Man in a time when that doesn't exist anymore. He'll get a job somewhere else -- he's worn too many hats in the Sixers organization not to -- but while I douse myself in the backwash of Sam Hinkie and Josh Harris, you gotta feel for a guy who's been here since the Hoover administration.

This one's for you, Tony. We don't know who the hell you are, but we appreciate the time you put in. Go 'head and punch out now.

Sixers as Rockets East, Josh Harris, Sam Hinkie, and Mescaline

2013-05-14T13:10:02Z

I peddle words. It's all I do. It's why I can't watch a Terrence Malick film. There are precious few excellent combinations of words in our language that take my breath away. "Chipotle Aioli" is one. "Doo Wah Diddy Diddy Dum Diddy Doo" is another. But nothing comes close to the hopscotch my intestines play when I hear the Sixers referred to as "Rockets East".

The Sixers hired Sam Hinkie while I was one day into the Bottle Rock Music Festival in Napa, CA camping next to a gaggle of exceptionally persistent drug dealers. These high-minded apothecaries propositioned my friends and me with their medicinal E or medicine Molly or medicinal Shrooms or medicinal Acid or hey this one makes the colors blend like Mescaline but without so much of the nausea.

After Matrixing around the human shit deposited by a human next to the driver's side door of my car in the witching hours of the previous evening, I declined ("I'm Good," which is to say, "Stop Shitting Next To My Car, Sir.") and took to charging my Droid in the battery-draining car. It awoke with news.

Sam Hinkie.

SAM HINKIE!

SAM HINKIE!

ROCKETS EAST, BITCH. -Me.

They got the Rockets guy. All the human shit in the world couldn't bring me down. Maybe that dude slipped some Mescaline in my Chex Mix after all. To be honest, that hay-beige was really blending with the blues from the scattered Bud Light cans. Chandler Parsons, take all the warm bananas you want, bro.

Josh Harris, man. Josh Harris is my absolute dude. Derek did all the heavy lifting here, but I've got less reservations than he does so here are some things that I can conclude to be true or mostly true with a whole bunch of circumstantial evidence and hearsay.

1. Josh Harris has wanted Doug Collins gone for awhile. Rod Thorn and Rod Thorn's contract likely got in the way of overhauling as early as he would've liked. Read this.

2. Sam Hinkie (and a host of other GM candidates of yesteryear: Tom Penn, Mike Zarren, Danny Ferry, and more that we don't know about) passed up the Sixers GM spot pre-DiLeo because they didn't want to have Doug Collins' scrotum up their noses all year.

3. Tony DiLeo is the biggest stopgap GM/person of all time. More on him in a few hours.

Please allow me to proselytize Josh Harris a little more for my own sake:

I LOVE YOU JOSH HARRIS.

I want to reboot "I Love You, Beth Cooper" and "I Love You, Man" and "I Will Always Love You" except take out Hayden Panettiere, Jason Segel, and Whitney Houston and replace them with Joshua G.D. Harris.

Meanwhile, Derek Fisher played 26 minutes in last night's OKC loss to Memphis. And half of the Drug Dealing Family Band was arrested for stealing a bunch of coolers from the campsite, one of which being mine, then was subsequently jailed after the hard-nosed Napa Police found Oodles of Noodles of Acid in their vehicle.

This team loves their press conferences, and they've got one later today introducing Microsoft Excel Spreadsheet GM on a Dell with very low battery and you have to put your ear really close to the speaker if you want to hear anything.

Go Sixers, man.

Hate Watching: The 2013 Philadelphia Phillies and You

2013-05-13T16:10:11Z

An Eagles team that can't stop the run. A Sixers team that can't run a half-court set. A Flyers team that, uh, high-sticking? But in my Sports Pain Hierarchy, there's nothing more frustrating than a Phillies team that can't hit. It's a futility that troubles you down from your sinuses to your rib cage to your femur to your toes. I've broken many a couch arm for Abraham Núñez and David Bell and Tomas Perez and surely other erstwhile post-Rolen third basemen.

But these Phillies, in all of their Amaro-ness, are different. They've kept Father Time at arm's length long enough -- even last year can be attributed to injuries rather than age, at least in my mind -- but it's 2013, when shrewdness must be their ally, that the Amaro-Manuel brain trust is leaking more water out of their ears than this nervous system can handle.

Delmon Young. Nate Schierholtz. Jonathan Papelbon. Michael Young. Chad Durbin. Ryan's contract. The ghosts of Jon Singleton and Hunter Pence, tripping over his arms. But mostly, Amaro's now infamous and probably inflated comment about walks and production.

MUST THE PHILLIES KILL EVERY RALLY WITH THE SUBTLETY OF A TURK WENDELL POST-GAME INTERVIEW? -Dave Rueter on double-plays

There's nothing you can do about it. Unless Rube reads TGP (he'd be a huge WL fan, I gather), you're just dust in the wind caught in the wind turbine of Philadelphia fandom. Anthropomorphized Dust can't determine where it's going, but it can dictate how to feel. And so can you. I'm here to help.

I've spent the better part of the last four Sixers seasons rooting for them to lose. It's less of a slippery slope and more a slippery cliff -- unless you're Jon Krakauer, there's no turning back.

There's varying levels of loss-mongering that may suit you. If it's pure Schadenfreude for the proud ignorance of Ruben Amero and hysterical managerial decisions of Charlie Manuel, that's fine. You'll turn into some anti-fan rooting against Chase Utley to be awesome or hoping Mike Adams blows the 8th inning. It's a sad life, but if you think it's in the best long-term interest of the franchise to start the rebuild and clean house, it could be yours. I've been down that rabbit hole, man. I've seen things.

Before you get too deep, you'll want to know how far you're willing to go. How many of Chad Durbin's inherited runs you can handle before you crack. What it feels like to root for Domonic Brown to misplay a sinking liner. If you can stomach Chase Utley in Dodger blue.

The Casual Fan won't get it. He'll never get it. But if you're committed to it in a maniacal, funless way, then you're far past caring what your Uncle Sheldon thinks. And I wish you well.

But, coming from a guy who's spent years wishing misfortune upon his favorite basketball team, I don't want you to go down that road yet.

There's too much good will from 2007-2011. I still love this team too much. I can't endorse the above because a team with Chase Utley is still a team that needs to win. If they lose, and lose big, then Chase, Chooch, Cliff, and Roy are gone. No sense pulling any punches or saving any in the chamber. And while I'd love the prospect haul showered upon us in that world, I can't let go yet. Even if Roy is a corpse.

McNabb's Eagles had their window closing for what felt like 7 years. The national media has the Phillies' windows boarded up and moldy. But getting older isn't a straight line. And in baseball -- unlike the more binary basketball -- it's not impossible to get good at stay good but smartly infusing prospects into an already-successful club.

Really though, it's not about that. There's a romance in baseball that isn't as evident in other sports. It's a consuming summer smell that lingers for months or years or a lifetime. For such a quirky little game, there are so many metaphors for life to be found.

I love these Phillies. In spite of all the idiocy, these are our Phillies. We pulled ourselves out of the 90's to the kind of success Matt Beech and Tyler Green couldn't dream of. If I'm irrational, then I'm irrational. But so is baseball. And I know enough Padres fans to realize that once winter comes, it tends to be a long one, even in San Diego.

And I'm not ready for summer to end yet. It's Hittin' Season, dammit.

Sixers Coaching Search: Jrue Holiday, Evan Turner Want Michael Curry

2013-05-09T15:27:38Z

Thus far, the Sixers have done their due diligence in seeking out their next head coach and I have done my due diligence in saying "due diligence" in regards to a coaching search, which is required in sportswriting. Mike Malone, Mike Budenholzer, Quin Snyder, Brian Shaw, and Jeff Hornacek have all been rumored. None of those are terrible choices.

But Evan Turner and Jrue Holiday, well, they'd like current Sixers assistant coach Michael Curry to wear the Sixers coaching headdress, were such a thing to exist.

Jrue brings up defense and familiarity to make his case.

I've known him for the last three years. He's somebody I trust, and somebody I'd love as a head coach. I think he was the glue to our team last year. Obviously we were defensive-based, which is big for us. That was our calling card, and Mike was responsible for that.

Evan, meanwhile, tossed a few parting shots at Doug Collins, who has awkwardly enough already suggested the team hire Curry as his replacement.

He was great because he was calm in certain situations, and that helps. He never really panicked. That's something that players need. I think it would be great for the organization. We respect Mike.

We really don't have a lot of room to start all over again when you look at us.

Wait, what was that last thing, Ev? You want to build on the excellence that was last season and not start over? Yeah that seems like a good plan.

My response to this, were I Josh Harris, would be "k thanks" and hang up the phone and change my number. Michael Curry seems like a lovely guy and maybe he's the right person to coach the team. But this team needs to separate itself from last season in the worst way and hiring from outside is an easy way to start. The players on a 34-48 team should have no impact on who the organization brings in as head coach. I'd consider letting Jrue into the discussion and get his opinions, but that wouldn't be the deciding factor at all.

And Evan, go play with ducks or something.

Tom Moore hears that the Sixers will conduct most of their interviews after the pre-draft combine in Chicago in two weeks.