Beyond Myth and into Legend: Supertanking, Telekenesis, and the Value of Guard Play

Image: the Supertanker S.H. (Sam Hinkie) Sixers cruising across the waves of the Nevada desert. After a surprise championship celebration cruise down in Florida, the Supertanker went west with young men, hopeful one and all, of another Belt to add to their collection. Back at the home port, the seas have been eerily calm, not a free agent nor even a cap absorbing, asset gathering deal on the horizon. Faithful crew members Jakarr ( mini Ralph) Sampson, as well as the deadly Darth Bader have been left behind, going round and round on the rides back at Disney. The stoutest crewmen, Noel, McDaniels, and McRae, are all locked down in sick bay, but the Supertanker plows forward. Crewman Roberts is on (hopefully) temporary duty on another vessel.

Still, this night it is the Supertanker racing the Summer Lakers, with their new Lieutenant, 'Sharp Elbows' Randle at the helm. Rough weather ahead. And lo and behold, the race is underway, and there is our familiar hero, OSPL MVP Casper Ware, scoring 7 points in the first four our minutes, before going scoreless the rest of the way, finishing at -15 in plus/minus. But no worries, because the Captain of the Supertankers is in command, Captain Davies, going 0-3 with two of the three rejected, 1 total rebound, no blocks, and 3 turnovers and 4 fouls in 21 minutes of action. Our other starting guard, Frazier, playing the two PG lineup for the first time, racks up 2 points and 1 assist in 15 minutes, and a hearty -11 plus/minus. And the early lead has evaporated in the desert heat.

But no fear, because Noel is watching, and boiling over in frustration, and ready to unleash his awesome telekinetic powers, mentally deflecting every Laker field goal attempt for the next 8 minutes. The Supertanker Subs are inspired, and bring the rain, with actual guard play from a point guard who runs the offense, and an actual shooting guard who can both shoot and take it to the rim. Very traditional skills, and with help from Grant and the prophet Elijah Milsap they wreak utter havoc, and go on a 16-0 run.

Alas, Sharp Elbows delivers a blow, and good man Gordon is down, bleeding profusely, all over the sidelines, and the mop and bucket brigade is called forth. With mighty efforts, he is taken to sick bay, and the onslaught continues, opening up a 22 point lead at the half.

alas, the starters are back, and blowing the lead before our distraught eyes, while Noel is distracted by the press. It is now the final quarter, and the Telekenesis is unleashed again, and again the Lakers hoop is totally closed, and again the mighty Subs are back, and the Supertanker cruises to an easy victory.

Ture story, you may ask? Impossible, you may think? A tall tale of the sea. No, folks, this actually happened, believe it or not. Telekenesis, maybe not. You can judge the results for yourself. But Wilbekin was out there, with little in the way of counting stats, but a +38. And Kilpatrick put up 19, and a +34. Real guard play, with defined roles and perhaps at least at the SG spot with real NBA skills. By the way, Old Sharp Elbows managed to open up her another wound in the second half on one of the crew.

But Beware, friends, because Doug 'Iceberg' McBuckets is dead ahead tonight. Maybe some of the crew will come out of sick bay, and perhaps Noel will get to block some shots in a more physical manner. Either way, last night was one for the legends.

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