76ers' Sunday Morning Shootaround: You, Me and Embiid

I still love you, Joel, even if 99 percent of America has written you off. - John Rieger-USA TODAY Sports

The past seven days have been relatively quiet in SixerLand - here's to hoping that we have some sort of excitement between now and Thursday.

The tweet that launched a thousand WTFs. There was much wailing and gnashing of teeth last Thursday, and #TeamChill has now been officially reduced to a wolfpack of one. For our latest mock draft roundup post-Embiid injury, click here.

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This past week marked the 20th anniversary of the O.J. Simpson "chase" - an event that would have shut down Twitter had the social media sharing service been around in 1994. The most important thing to remember about Orenthal James Simpson - aside from the whole murder trial - is the fact that he has a massive head. Check out this clip of Philadelphia 76ers' consultant Allen Iverson and rapper Nelly (of "Must Be The Honey" fame) discussing the life and times of the former Buffalo Bills star back when all three individuals were still relevant. An exchange from the clip:

Nelly: "O.J. keeps finding himself in some of the wildest predicaments."

A.I.: "Yeah... you're 60 years old - sit your ass down, O.J."

#MissYouAI

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Well... this is actually going to happen. The Philadelphia 76ers have scheduled 76 draft parties for this coming Thursday (technically, the number stands at 74 at the time of this writing, but we'll cut them a break), and the team will be giving away T-shirts, hats, tickets and other assorted tchotchkes all across the Delaware Valley. If anyone is planning to attend one (or more) of these draft parties, we'd absolutely love a FanPost detailing the most awkwardest of tensions that are bound to ensure.

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For at least the next week or so, everyone is a soccer fan. Jason Richardson might not be a Sixer by the time the U.S. gets bounced from the World Cup, but I appreciate his enthusiasm.

Of course, some of us still need to learn the finer points of The Beautiful Game.

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The Philadelphia 76ers are looking for someone to don the "Phil E. Moose" costume, but don't get it twisted: This job is a lot harder that it seems. Check out some of the qualifications and the essential functions from the official posting on NBA.com:

Qualifications -

  • Minimum 2 or more years experience as a mascot at the collegiate, minor or professional league level
  • Ability to dance (professional dance training a plus)
  • Acting experience a plus
  • Performer training a plus
  • Music and video editing a plus
  • Sales/marketing/customer service experience or background a plus

Essential Job Functions -

  • Perform as mascot at all 76ers home games (41 regular season, plus playoffs)
  • Perform as mascot at all 76ers season ticket holder, sponsor and community events/programs, sponsor appearances as well as other "community events" as deemed important to the organization (200-300 year)
  • Responsible for maintaining the costume, wardrobe, props, etc.
  • Work extended and/or irregular hours including nights, weekends and Holidays
  • Actively generates revenue for the mascot program which includes, but not limited to, merchandise sales of mascot identified merchandise, new appearance opportunities, sponsor opportunities for mascot programs
  • Attend weekly creative meetings with marketing and game operations staff
  • Produce and attend weekly mascot performance practice sessions

So, basically, they want a dancer/actor/performer who is skilled at music and video editing in addition to being well-versed in sales and marketing. This person also needs to be available virtually every day of the year and spend his or her downtime making sure that that mascot costume doesn't smell like North Jersey. I hope this job posting makes its way to TheLadders - this really needs to be a six-figure gig.

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And then there's this. Granted... the whole "kick the beat reporters across the street" move (apparently orchestrated entirely by PCOM) was kind of lame, but there's no reason to turn the dial up to DEFCON 4, folks. I GUARANTEE that we won't see a hotter take than this article for the rest of 2014.

Oh.

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And cockroaches. There will always be cockroaches.

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