The Joel Embiid Doo Wop (Back Thing)

Back Thing. - Denny Medley-USA TODAY Sports

I'm not proud of how much time I spent on this.

For you Joel Embiid truthers:

Scouts, you know you better watch out 
Embiid, Embiid ain't gonna work out
Back thing, back thing, back thing
Back thing, back thing, back thing

It's two weeks until this draft season ends
Until Joel Embiid gets on the court once again
'Member when we feared he'd be Benoit Benjamin?
You act like what you seen makes him look like young Hakeem
It's Embiid, how you think you really gon' pretend
Your center's hurt it won't be like Greg Oden again
Plus when you're drafting him so early there's a reason to be scared
If you drafted Bennett, then you'll fuck it up again
Talking out your neck sayin' Jabari is your man
When you don't know if he'll defend
Now that was the sin that did Danny Ferry in
Who you gonna tell when the repercussions spin
Bragging about this class so you fit in with your friends
Girlfriend, let me break it down for you again
You know I only say it 'cause you draft at 3 and 10
He's a shot blocker who'll grab 22 and 10
Babygirl, his back is scary at minimum
Worst, it's fucked up and you're still drafting him now
Sam Hinkie's only human
Kevin Pritchard's been through the same predicament
Let it sit inside your head like a million fans in Philly, Penn.
It's silly when GMs sell their soul because it's in
Look at where you draft stretch 4s like Europeans
Bruce Pearls like Tennesseeans
Come again.
Come again, come again, come again, come again.

Scouts, you know you better watch out
Embiid, Embiid ain't gonna work out
Back thing, back thing, back thing
Back thing, back thing, back thing

The second verse is dedicated to Wiggins
Going hard to the rim and his team's always winning
Him and his men aggressive press like Bukharin
Don't care who they defend--ain't no one gon' get open
Let's not pretend, he knows Levin's "Oh" face
Puttin' smiles on all the Jakes, still in their monthers' basements
The pretty face, men claiming that you need a big men
Need to draft a forward and a couple wings, man
Get in a shooter's face when the help defense is late
Shot making, heart breaking now you wonder why scouts rate him
The sneaky dribble men, the dunk so hard it ripples men
The quick to shoot the rock stop acting like boys and be men
How you gonna win when you don't draft Wiggins?
How you gonna win when you don't draft Wiggins?
How you gonna win when you don't draft Wiggins?
How you gonna win when you don't draft Wiggins?
Come again.
Come again, come again, come again, come again.

Scouts, you know you better watch out 
Embiid, Embiid ain't gonna work out
Back thing, back thing, back thing
Back thing, back thing, back thing

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