Guaranteed Sixers: These People Are The Sixers, Guaranteed.

sixerlegs - Tom Szczerbowski-USA TODAY Sport

MCW&Wroten&Evan&Thad&Spencer&Lavoy&Moultrie&Anderson&Holliswood&Zo&JRich&Nerlens&Elliot&SexCougar

So there's some trade winds blowing up some skirts like it's an Adam Sandler movie but as it stands, these are your Sixers. All of the players still on the team have their contracts guaranteed until the end of the season. Daniel Orton got cut, Brandon Davies did not -- neither did Lorenzo Brown or Elliot Williams. Or the less likely potential cuts of James Anderson, Hollis Thompson, or Lavoy Allen. The Sixers, unless a D-Leaguer on a 10-day contract comes within the week, are the Sixers.

You cool with that? I am.

Unironically, it seems like Daniel Orton has a better chance to be a rotational NBA player on a non-abyssical team than Brandon Davies does. Even still, they both are bad, so it doesn't matter. Maybe Davies was a better locker room guy. Maybe Orton never bought into the conditioning and Davies just worked his ass off. Really really, it doesn't matter. And since the 2013-14 Philadelphia 76ers are a hipster's wet dream, I'll take Davies every time. Get your pink skinny jeans, Sam Hinkie.

We're left with 14 guys. Some things are moving with Thaddeus Young.

There's also a D-League thing floating around. Go about your day confident that Hinkie and company are not sitting around playing gin rummy and DVRing Con Air. The phones are getting plenty of work in. Polar Vortex be damned.

Oh and the Sixers are just 1.5 games back of the 2nd-worst record in the NBA. #TeamGoToBed, I think.

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