76ers' Sunday Morning Shootaround: Man Vs. Food

Jason Richardson has taken this tanking thing to a new level. - Eric Hartline-USA TODAY Sports

In this edition of the Sunday Morning Shootaround, Royce White needs to brush up on his history, Brett Brown tells you how he really feels, and we give you our thoughts on restaurants that should be added to the Wells Fargo Center.

I'd post this every day if I could.

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Time to break out the Rosetta Stone, folks... a little translation is in order here:

What Brett Brown said: "The team has been in the gym since Sept. 9, led by Spencer, Thaddeus and Evan. I'm proud of what they've done so far."

What Brett Brown meant: [Brett Brown actually told the truth here.]

What Brett Brown said: "They are enjoyable to talk to and I have empowered them. I look at them the way we used to look at Timmy [Duncan], Tony [Parker] and Manu [Ginobili]."

What Brett Brown meant: "Thaddeus is a pleasure to talk to. Spencer is as well, although we don't see eye-to-eye politically. But speaking to Evan is like speaking to any generic person walking down the street. And they aren't really like Timmy, Tony or Manu in any way, but me putting that in a public forum may help them feel better about themselves."

What Brett Brown said: "When I go into a room and I see veteran players and especially because they're healthy, I'll look at them and put my arms around them because I want their opinion on a lot of different things. They know the lay of the land. They deserve to be heard. I think their leadership is something we want to cultivate and help them with."

What Brett Brown meant: "These guys have been here a while, and they know the lay of the land. They let me know the best route to take to the Wells Fargo Center before a game - I'm not used to Philly traffic just yet. Other than that, I won't actually listen to what they say. But I'll give them a few minutes to say it - they deserve that much. Shoot... I talked to them for a good 10 minutes on Monday. And after the meeting, I tried to give Spencer Hawes a hug, but he said 'I'm good, bro.' And he meant it."

What Brett Brown said: "I've found those three to be good people and curious about the way we're going to take the program. I look forward to coaching them. I think they know that we are sincere in trying to help them get better."

What Brett Brown meant: "They asked me if we were going to tank this season, and I told them no. That wasn't entirely accurate. Actually... that wasn't accurate at all."

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There's plenty that I COULD write about this picture of a young Spencer Hawes, but since the 7-footer is now the newest BFF of Editor-In-Chief Michael Levin, the edited version of my comments appear below:

[insert text here]

So... in order to fill some space, here's a picture of Hawes and Levin riding a merry-go-round after their meeting earlier this month:

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Vander Blue came thisclose to getting cut before his first practice with the Sixers. Saying that you think McGrady is better than Iverson is almost like admitting that you don't like steak. Oh, wait...

Sean O' Connor, ladies and gentlemen.

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On September 24, Royce White felt compelled to give some shout-outs to folks born under the Aries Zodiac sign because... Royce White.

Now there's nothing wrong with highlighting the accomplishments of fellow human beings, but it's important to get one's facts right. And while Sam Walton was a true pioneer in the world of retail, and Leonardo Da Vinci was the king of "awesomeness", there's a glaring error on White's list.

Booker T. Washington was a teacher, an orator, and one of the leaders of the Civil Rights movement in the early 20th century. He may have enjoyed eating peanut butter, but he was by no means a pioneer in the field.

White, of course, was referring to George Washington Carver, a scientist whose work revolutionized the farming industry. Both men taught at the Tuskegee Institute, and both have dozens of schools named after them across the country, so it's easy to see how White was confused.

To be honest, I'm surprised that Royce didn't give Booker T. Washington credit for inventing the Spinerooni.

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In case you missed it, Lorenzo's - the infamous South Street pizza establishment that has cured and prevented tens of thousands of hangovers throughout the years - is now at the Wells Fargo Center.

A good move to be sure, but I think more can be done...

THE DEFINITIVE RANKING OF PHILADELPHIA-AREA RESTAURANTS THAT SHOULD BE ADDED TO THE WELLS FARGO CENTER SO THAT WATCHING THE SIXERS IN PERSON THIS YEAR WILL BE SLIGHTLY MORE BEARABLE:

1) Federal Donuts: For the record, this can not be the scaled-down version that they put in Citizens Bank Park, either. I want Shabbazi-seasoned wings and milk chocolate/peanut butter donuts, please and thank you.)

2) Han Dynasty: The dan-dan noodles can almost make you forget that Dan Gadzuric was actually a member of this team for 15 minutes last October. And besides, they just opened one in NYC, so there's no reason why South Philly shouldn't have one, too.

3) Fette Sau: At Fette Sau, they offer brisket, ribs and pork belly by the pound. If this actually happens, be sure to get there early or else Kwame Brown will clean them out.

4) Luke's Lobster: The Center City Philadelphia location is just as good as the original outpost down in D.C. The only problem is that the lobster roll is $15 as it is: Add on the Aramark standard markup, and it'll probably be close to $27.43. Maybe the Sixers can help subsidize the cost with the millions that they aren't spending on players this season.

5) John's Roast Pork: The main reason this made the list is that the original location has insanely long lines and weird hours. It would be worth it to get cheap tickets to Sixers' games on StubHub just so you wouldn't have to wait 90 minutes for a roast pork sandwich.

6) Jake's Sandwich Board: In basketball, a 50/50 ball is when both teams have a chance for either a rebound, or just a loose ball in general. At Jake's, a 50/50 is a sandwich where half of the meat is pulled pork and the other half is smoked bacon (about 6 slices or so), and all of it is covered in provolone cheese and sriracha sauce.

'Merica.

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I think J-Rich had a few too many 50/50s this summer.

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