— Thad Young (@yungsmoove21) August 16, 2013
We aren't usually the type to promote events that don't involve us (unless a few free tickets are thrown our way), but if you're in the Philadelphia area, and you have any interest in a career in either sports or music, you should try to check out the Dream Chasers Summit in a couple of weeks.
The conference is the brainchild of rapper Meek Mill and Cleveland Cavaliers' shooting guard Dion Waiters, and will be moderated by none other than the co-host of The Rights To Ricky Sanchez podcast, Spike Eskin.
Plenty of heavy hitters are scheduled to appear (Rick Ross, Master P, Machine Gun Kelly and Thaddeus Young, among others), and there will even be a post-event concert where Lou Williams will presumably rap about how he made his first million fo' he ever got laid.
Philadelphia 76ers (@Sixers) August 16, 2013
This Vine is pointless. I mean, I guess the photo shoot of the Sixers' new dance team is newsworthy on some level, and if the spirit moves you, there's plenty more video for you to check out here.
So why post anything at all, you ask? Well... it gives us a reason to link to THE GREATEST VINE OF ALL-TIME (which, ironically enough, happens to be basketball-related). If Vine was around when Dave Rueter was a kid, I could see him putting together something along these lines.
Here's a shitty picture of Shaq singing Prince last night. pic.twitter.com/BKhiQcnu8f— Michael Levin (@Michael_Levin) August 16, 2013
"Journalist" Mike Levin (who, by the way, "runs" a critically-acclaimed basketball blog) was at a party with Shaquille O'Neal the other night, and the only evidence of said event is this crappy cell phone picture.
Oh... we got a whole bunch of tweets in ALL CAPS as well. If Levin was the "journalist" that he claims to be, there would be no fewer than 73 Vines/Instagram videos/YouTube clips documenting the night. I mean, if you saw the man who starred in "Blue Chips" singing "Bohemian Rhapsody" at karaoke, wouldn't you immediately pull out your cell phone and start recording? This is a violation to the Nth degree...
NEW JOB: Basketball Operations Analytics Intern (Philadelphia 76ers) http://t.co/hhL3bVFkUy— SportsAnalytics Blog (@SAnalyticsBlog) August 16, 2013
How cool would it be to sit at the knee of Sam Hinkie as he shows you the intricacies of basketball analytics? I mean, we all know Kwame Brown is trash, but to have Hinkie break it down for you statistically would be a treat.
Nothing for nothing, I'm just glad to see the team taking proactive steps toward building their roster. Expect to see a Monster.com posting for a shooting guard in a couple of weeks.
Question: Would u ever date dei lynham
Analysis: Every potential response that I have to this question/answer set is inappropriate. So instead, we'll just keep it moving...
Question: if we trade you, what do you think we'd get in return?
Answer: Water cooler and towels
Analysis: Are there bottles of water in the cooler? If so, and as long as they aren't Dasani, then I'd do the deal.
Question: What is your favorite alcoholic beverage? Be as specific as possible
Answer: Pinot Grigio
Analysis: In a region that's highly regarded for its beer-brewing prowess, Evan Turner's favorite alcoholic drink is a mid-level white wine (Chardonnay and Riesling are both better). At least he didn't say Muscato.
Question: Thoughts on the team hiring Brett Brown?
Answer: Great for the young guys
Analysis: I'm not sure how to interpret this. Given the fact that Evan Turner is 24 years old and has appeared in all of 243 NBA games, I consider him to be one of the "young guys". But he gave quite a different answer in an interview with Tom Moore, so it seems like Turner may have the right attitude, all things considered.
Question: If u could have 1 superpower 4 24hrs what would it be??
Analysis: For whatever reason, men like to discuss which superpower is the best. The Cincinnati Bengals did so earlier this year in training camp, and here, ET answers this question correctly. However, there are certain stipulations that have to be ironed out before accepting the power to fly:
1) The ability to fly also has to come with the ability to breathe the thinner air at the higher altitude.
2) It also has to come with the ability to carry things (at least up to 50 pounds).
3) The maximum flight speed needs to be determined as well: If one can only fly at 10 MPH, what's the point?
I think invisibility would come next in the power rankings, but I could be swayed to either telekinesis or super-speed given a strong enough argument.
Question: What's the best way to get out of the friendzone
Answer: Lol make a power move
Analysis: To those of you currently living in the friend zone: If you take NOTHING else out of Evan Turner baring his soul on the Interwebs, take this piece of advice to heart.
Being in the friendzone is a lose-lose proposition. That whole "I don't want to lose the person as friend" line of thinking is garbage. If you're sitting there pining for someone, yet are too scared to see if the feeling is reciprocal, then you're already losing. And if that's the case, it's time for a LeBron James' crab dribble to the basket. Note: If you get fouled on the way to the rim and the referee swallows the whistle, try not to complain like Turner does.
Seriously though, like the great Bobby Bonilla once advised, "make your move." Otherwise, you're no better than Ruben Amaro Jr. at the trade deadline.
Question: Why are you such a stud yet still underrated???
Answer: Cause that's just how it goes
Analysis: I had no idea that users on Ask.fm could submit questions to themselves.