This game preview is a preview of facts. It is based on Ron Swanson's "Speech of Facts" from NBC show Parks & Recreation. Here is the clip I am talking about.
Ron Swanson Speech of Facts (via Daniel Moreira)
This preview is in line with the "we're long past the point of doing traditional game previews" format.
The Sixers will play the Pacers tonight. The game will start at 7:30. It will be broadcasted on FxMW in Indiana. It will be broadcasted on CSN in Philadelphia. It will be nationally covered on NBATV.
Ranked 10th in the East are the Sixers. They are 24-40. They are 2-8 in their last 10 games. The Pacers are ranked 2nd. Their record is 25-40. The Pacers have as many wins as the Sixers have losses. They are 6-4 in their last 10 games. The Sixers are 0-2 against the Pacers in this NBA season.
The Sixers are not a good team. The Pacers are a good team.
Losing this game helps the Sixers get a better draft pick. Lucy the Tanking Octopus approves of Sixers losses.
The following is a section about some of the Sixers players.
Nick Young's nickname is Swaggy P. There is a chance he may or may not play.
Spencer Hawes plays basketball. He is on the team. He makes $6.5 million a year over 2 years for $13 million total.
Kwame Brown has not played often.
Arnett Moultrie does not actually exist.
Jrue Holiday was an all-star.
Evan Turner was drafted 2nd overall.
Thaddeus Young can dunk a basketball.
Dorell Wright's name is not spelled "Dorrel".
Jeremy Pargo wears number 0.
Charles Jenkins is not tall.
This previews is terrible.
" RP "