uhhh - USA TODAY Sports
There is a game today.
Hi friends. Today's the Super Bowl and we've all got various plans to keep us occupied and/or drunk and/or antisocial. But for non-Ravens or 49ers fans, it's just another day of the year. And that means we have to stay Sixersy.
So pop by here every so often to give your little internet friends an update on how your day is going. Because we care.
Some potential questions and pro tips for YOOZ GUYZ to talk about here:
- Which team are you rooting for to lose less? I could probably stand the Niners winning but I'm bothered by San Francisco winning the World Series two out of the last three years. Though I have been told many times I look like Tim Lincecum minus the hair. Ray Lewis is the worst.
- What are you eating? WHAT ARE YOU EATING?! I asked it twice because that's the most important question. My small potluck at a friends is having meatballs, sandwich tray (mine), wings, mini hot dogs, empanadas, chips and buffalo chicken dip, apple pie, and cake. And lots of soda and booze. I will gain all the weight today. I advice you to have something in your mouth the entire time.
- Anytime you're having a good conversation with someone and they shush you because the commercials are on, TAKE YOUR NEAREST THROWING STAR AND PENETRATE THEM IN THE EYE WITH IT. They'll get the joke.
- Bring up other Philadelphia sports and see how many people say they like the Phillies, Eagles, and Flyers but don't really care about basketball. That's always fun.
- Try not to get into a discussion about The Wire with anybody today. It's not the time. I know it'll be tempting with the Baltimore aspect, but it's the same conversation every time and they undoubtedly like it less than you or will reference the wrong parts. "Everybody knows the 4th season is the best, you don't have to stop me from eating this whole chicken to tell me that, Solomon."
- Don't have friends named Solomon.
- If you have to say something, just say "A man's gotta have a code" and walk away.
- Find the oldest, whitest, most Bill Conlin-y person at the party and get his feelings on Colin Kaepernick's tattoos. Listen thoughtfully, then shoot yourself in the face with a staple gun.
- Twitter's gonna get ugly today. Be prepared.
- You can blame me for all the How I Met Your Mother promos -- there's a new episode on tomorrow and it features another Robin Sparkles song. I've heard it about a thousand times in the office and it hasn't even aired yet. It's very different. Oh and there's a bunch of random guest stars, one of whom I took a picture with upon meeting. I think that's all I can say. They always go big post-Super Bowl.
- Pretend you're at a Ray Lewis Murder Mystery Party and act accordingly.
- DO NOT TALK ABOUT ANDREW BYNUM.
- Maybe don't talk at all. Consider it.
- Ask the biggest football douche at the party "what down is it?" at least twice a drive.
- Here's a video my friends made on Little Giants 2: The Har-Bowl. Obviously Little Giants = a must watch.
- Suggest changing the channel to some background music station.
- Oh and let us know what numbers you got in the betting squares. I have 5 for Baltimore, 6 for San Fran. Odds are pretty low! The HIMYM payoff is like 4K per quarter and 8K for the game. Here's hoping for 16-15 Niners!
Here's Niners Nation and Baltimore Beat Down. Today is probbbbably not the best day to introduce yourself. But check it out for content and imagine how exciting it's going to be when the Sixers are in the Super Bowl. They can do it!