Sixers vs. Bobcats Preview: Liberty Ballers Cypher 1.0

Flo Rida asked to be a part of the Sixers' cypher, but his request was denied. - Mike Ehrmann

Because the NBA season is 82 games long (and "Because The Internet"), we need to mix it up every now and then so that things don't get stale around these parts. So, to that end, we chose to forego a typical game preview and decided to do a BET-inspired cypher instead. Enjoy.

Sixers vs. Bobcats Cypher

(To the beat of "1 Train" by A$AP Rocky)

Tanner:

It's Tanner on the mic, witout the man bob sag
Sixer cypher rhymin bout to turn heads like new swag
Don't believe what you heard unless it's what I said
Charlotte Cats bout to get they ass humbled on the web

We got the 1-2, double Oh, and TY witout the penny
Shit that's only one rookie down, yo we got like twenty
And the Hoya ain't about to be the one you wanna step with
Cuz he gon have ya big red dog cryin out for PRACTICE

We got Nerlens starin you down and you know that you coulda had em
Fans screaming from the top at Cody Z "IS THAT ADAM?"
Nah man - That old cat sittin right here next to me
Waitin on LJ to get back, she got them burgers 'n' razz tea

And dudes'll drop a g and a quarter on some 2-3 sneakers
Then they asked to pay 10 for a ticket, "nah bro my feet hurt"
So sit back, relax, and enjoy the flow
Shit I'm out - pass the mic so the school boy can blow


Jake P:

Sixers postin' up here in the "Queen City",
but there ain't nothing royal here about no Bobkitties,
And Michael Jordan may be the king but I am not down,
Cause drafting Cody Zeller's what he'll do when given the crown?

Now MKG is out so hold onto your metacarpals,
And all the fans at Bobcats games could probably fit in a carpool
The Sixers are here to play, y'all are just some talkers,
cause a T-Wroten crossover might make Kemba need his Walker

Trying to tank but we still go hard, cheffin' like LaVoyardee,
probably playing D like what's on James Southerland's report card
ET hitting jumpers, Hawes crapping Thunder,
On Friday night Brett Brown gonna send Charlotte to a land down under

This is basketball, maybe the Bobcats should try croquet,
sleep on Carter-Williams jumper then you gon' learn today
And Mark Morrison may have sung it a very long time ago
but Friday will be the "Return of the Bismack" home to the Congo
Ya scrub


Roy:

Tonight, the Sixers play down in the CLT
Against a squad without the services of MKG
There's Al Jeff... he doesn't really want it with Hawes
Turning garbage into gold like Dominique Dawes

Physical fitness... we're here to bear witness
You can't hold a candle to our lyrical sickness
Or Evan and Thad - the perfect one-two combo
Dropping 3s over the hand of Biyombo

I don't read palms, not quite a fortune-teller
But I'm not really stressing the kid Cody Zeller
Sans MC-Dub, we can still check Kemba
Put a bow on it... A December to Remember

Mid-range shots? This year, they're verboten
Looking for Js? Check the feet of Tony Wroten
But even with Jordan watching from overhead
There's no way in hell we'll get caught in Charlotte's web

And here's the Diss Rap from the thugs at Rufus on Fire.

Why must the city of Brotherly Love be the city of basketball hate
Roster looks like it was put together as a pitch on basketball Slate

About to slice you up and grate ya til you're indiscernible
gonna sell you next to the crepes at the Reading Terminal

Hollis, Lorenzo, Thaddeus and Lavoy
These names are cool but you're about to be destroyed

We're about to plaster you like one of your murals
Synapses firing in ya neural but it's a wasteland, rural
Hinkie's stinky and you're about to get flattened like a squirrel
Time's running down, nerves on edge so bad ya hurl

Tempo's up and your heartbeat is too
Hypertension ascension, can't get through
to the hoop to the rim, defense'll turn ya blue
We're diggin for your Burial cuz your success was Untrue

Let the tears flow, your fast start was fake
Michael Carter-Williams looks exactly like Drake

Hinkie gutted your team that was mediocre enough
Your fans say "embrace the tank" but it's gonna get rough

You're not that bad, put tanking on the burner
Besides, you're just gonna draft another Evan Turner

Giving James Anderson minutes, that doesn't bode well
At least in five years injuries won't be sitting Nerlens Noel

He's the next Greg Oden, or Hasheem Thabeet
It's kinda sad that your GM has dreams of defeat

Can't rely on the lottery to put you where you wanna be
This team is next level bad, have you crappin in your dungarees


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