Spencer Hawes: Riding in Segways With Boys

Perfect form. - Chris Vito Twitter

Liberty Ballers was made for this post.

I always knew there was a connection between Drew Barrymore and Spencer Hawes and now it's finally clear. Spencer, he of the two-year contract and American Mullet Society, took a Segway stroll on the court during practice today. It was magical.

Though this opens up a host of jokes involving Spencer and George Oscar Bluth ("Illusions, Jrue. A trick is something a whore does for money"), I'd rather take the time to request other things for Spencer Hawes to ride. To the bullet points!

  • Hawes riding a mechanical bull.
  • Hawes riding a real bull.
  • Hawes riding on top of a Volkswagen Beetle.
  • Hawes riding his own mullet into Parliament and shooting American flags out of his nipples.
  • Hawes riding dirty.
  • Hawes in a Peter Pan costume flying to the Republican National Convention.
  • Hawes riding Kwame Brown to the ground.
  • Hawes guest-starring on New Girl as Nick's younger brother.
  • Hawes playing basketball against old people in wheelchairs. He is not in a wheelchair.
  • Hawes punch-dancing by himself on the roof of a tall building in New York City in the rain.
  • Hawes holding an entire forest up by his rear deltoids.
  • Hawes painting a 50-foot self-portrait on the side of the Wells Fargo Center.
  • Hawes riding a bicycle.
  • Hawes tweeting a Jrue Holiday dickpic.

Though as Rufos on Fire's Ben Swanson tells us, Spence isn't the first NBA player to ride a Segway. He is, however, the most Spencery player to do so.

Bless his beautiful heart.

[UPDATE]: We now have VIDEO OF IT. (H/t KJ Brophy)

X
Log In Sign Up

forgot?
Log In Sign Up

Forgot password?

We'll email you a reset link.

If you signed up using a 3rd party account like Facebook or Twitter, please login with it instead.

Forgot password?

Try another email?

Almost done,

Join Liberty Ballers

You must be a member of Liberty Ballers to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Liberty Ballers. You should read them.

Join Liberty Ballers

You must be a member of Liberty Ballers to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Liberty Ballers. You should read them.

Spinner.vc97ec6e

Authenticating

Great!

Choose an available username to complete sign up.

In order to provide our users with a better overall experience, we ask for more information from Facebook when using it to login so that we can learn more about our audience and provide you with the best possible experience. We do not store specific user data and the sharing of it is not required to login with Facebook.

tracking_pixel_9347_tracker