FanPost

Curmudgeon's Corner: Meet the New Boss (or BOSS)...

I need to express my distaste for the information that has come to us today. Now. I've never been a supporter of Thorn. His hiring, as one of our Twitterz people put it was "so Sixers Comcast."

And today? More of the same.

So what happened so far?

1) Apparently, Dougy muscled Thorn out, he wants a yes-man GM, he wants to make all the decisions.

2) He wants to trade the #15 for a veteran.

I'm too lazy to go back to my old posts from when he first got hired, where I cried out like Jeremiah that Dougy loves him some veterans and he wouldn't be good at running a young team and building it from scratch, which is clearly what needed (and still needs) to happen, and that he would try to pack the roster with mediocre veterans that he's comfortable with, to win as much as possible in the short term.

Well, here we go.

First, Danny Ferry. He is a discredited ex-GM who did a mediocre job at best in Cleveland, and ran to sit in the back office for the Spurs and lick his wounds. This isn't a guy who will stand up to the Dougy. This is a guy who will carry out the Dougy's will.

Second, dumping the pick. There is going to be a good player who can help this roster of misfit toys available at 15. But it's reasonable to assume that such a player at such a spot in the draft would come with some flaws, and need some development. The Dougy isn't terribly interested in growing a team up organically. He's interested in maximizing wins right now, even if it's not all that many, until he finally gets run out of town like he always has.

Third, dumping the pick for a veteran, not trying to trade up to get a better young player to be a cornerstone of the team's future success, not trying to get multiple picks to infuse desperately needed talent into a moribund roster, but finding some guy who's had a slightly above average career and is probably on the downside, but will do what he's told so he can stay in the league and keep getting minutes. A name.

Because we're clearly stupid enough to get excited about a name player coming here that we will forget that he's 34 and breaking down, and that this team is going to suck and suck hard in three years. Chris Webber, Derrick Coleman, and Glenn Robinson, anyone?

Here's what I believe is going to happen this offseason.

1) Dre gets traded for Gasol. Because the Dougy is known to favor soft white bigs who like to shoot jumpshots and are allergic to contact. But Pau is a "name player" and has "championship experience," so that has to be good, even though his actual play is starting to deteriorate.

2) Tha BOSS gets a 3-5 year extension for 7 per. CLOSA!!! CLUTCH!!! We can look forward to many scrotum-tightening, rage-and-nausea-inducing BOSS ISOs at the end of every quarter for many years to come. Dougy loves him some BOSS, and "we need a scorer." I know Pau works best as a second banana (to Kobe Bryant)...let's see how he likes being a second banana to Tha BOSS. I see that ending well :)

3) Someone young and useful gets traded. I don't know if it's as a throw-in to a Dre-for-Pau deal, or to pick up another mediocre uniform-filling veteran who will Obey The Dougy, or as part of a deal with the #15 pick, but one among Jrue, Turner, or Thad is probably out of here. (NOTE: I like Thad and would like him to stay. I enjoy his garbage-into-gold antics. I realize I am not universally joined in that opinion)

4) Can't blame this on The Dougy, but Lavoy Allen signs with someone else. This one is on Thorn. We will be sorry to see him go.

5) Meeks returns! Glue Guy!!!

6) I'm not sure what happens with Big Chevy. I'm probably OK with it either way, as long as The Dougy doesn't use the cap space created by amnestying Brand to sign another mediocre uniform-filler that Plays The Dougy Way. I don't mind keeping him another year. He at least gives it everything he's got every night, and I've grown attached to the big lug.

The sum total of these moves?

About 2-3 years of 44-48 wins. 6-7-8 seed in the playoffs each year. Maybe one year getting into the second round, maybe not. More giveaways, prizes, promotions, and general marketing madness by our good friend Adam Aron to try to keep people interested in a team that is just good enough to never really improve past where they are right this second.

After that? Someone (maybe Levien?) looks around, sees the roster choked with crappy contracts for non-productive veterans past their prime, no young guys to pick up the load, endless BOSS ISOs (that are gonna really suck even more when BOSS gets a bit older and loses a step), and a stadium full of empty seats. The team goes through an Eddie Jordan-esque season of 25 wins, the players revolt against Dougy's martinet-ism without a 20-9 start and an improbable (and grotesquely lucky) playoff run to cover his multitude of sins, the ownership gets pissed off, and Dougy and his talking fishboy Ferry are sent packing.

Maybe the economy has recovered by then, and Harris & Co. flip the team for a profit to someone who gives a crap about putting a champion on the court. Maybe not.

I'm too damn old to go through the whole will we/won't we rebuild discussion and inevitable disappointment when ownership tries to put Band-Aids on the Titanic all over again. I'm taking suggestions for a team to follow once this all comes to pass. Wolves? Nuggets, maybe?

Meanwhile, you kids get the hell off my lawn before I call the cops!

Love and Kisses,

Your Curmudgeon

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