Bowlers gotta bowl. - Mike Ehrmann
Life, they say, is equal parts comedy and tragedy. I actually don't know if they say that. But they should, because this Andrew Bynum news is mind-bendingly hilarious and catatonically depressing. Word has it from ESPN that Bynum injured his other knee while, um, bowling. #YOLO? Psh. #BOWLO.
Now, I heard this from Spike Eskin yesterday, but unfortunately he wasn't confident enough in the source that he could go public with it. That's a major bummer, because this scoop is brilliant. The puns are endless and I can't ask for more.
There's a good chance a lot of you are upset. That's totally understandable. But please try to see how perfect this is. Nothing in Sixers history has been as quintessentially Sixers as this. He injured his OTHER KNEE.... BOWLING. A sport that old ladies play on a Tuesday night. I've bowled for years and I have hurt myself zero times. My thumb has hurt a few times, but nothing, ya know, press conference worthy. And he's on the precipice of a max contract and goes and Sixers his knee. His other knee. The other one. Guys. Tell me you see the humor. I think I'm in love.
Give a read to the other activities Bynum was cleared to do, including bowling with bumpers. At least you can be sure he won't hurt anything "fancying a cup of tea."
We'll see how long Bynum is out for, but I would still guess (and that's all it is -- a guess) that he plays this season. I don't know how angry the Sixers are that he got injured... BOWLING... but he's going to get a max contract offers somewhere this season. And I would still very much like it to be in Philadelphia. The more traditional "athletes-should-be-loyal-boo-Iguodala-always" journalists out there probably disagree. But an eventually healthy Bynum is the best chance the Sixers have at winning a championship in the next 5 years. And I don't really care about anything else.
But that, friends, is why you don't roll on Shabbas. (h/t @Giles1228)