Definitely not Andre Iguodala's body. - Eric Hartline-US PRESSWIRE
Get your cramming in before the season starts TONIGHT.
There tends to be a decent amount of turnover year after year in the life of a sports blog. The mainstays stick around, but the vagabonds bounce here and there between seasons. For those wanderers, it's helpful to provide some context to the jokes and sort of reset the system before we jump into another year of Sixers shenanigans, this the fifth of which Liberty Ballers has covered. Wow.
It's spelled "Dorell Wright". One R, two L's. Many places on the internet practically endorse terrible spelling -- here it'll just make your point less valid. A favorite of yesteryear called him "Spencer Halls". I'm pretty sure that dude doesn't have a mullet.
Also, this should be common knowledge by now, Jrue Holiday. Not Holliday. Not Halladay. And we may as well remind you how to spell "Marreese" Speights.
Django. The D is silent.
There are a number of running jokes on here that wouldn't be funny if I told them to you. Don't be intimidated by folks who have been here longer. The theorems are as follows:
- 25 Points Per Quarter: The Sixers must keep the opponent under this mark while scoring at least 25 on their own. Failure to do so will result in a bad quarter. Losses can easily be explained away by the 25 PPQ Theorem.
- Bucket=Stop=Bucket: Extremely advanced algorithms centering around the idea that a bucket is as good as a stop which is as good as a bucket. The only known theorem in the world to use two equals signs.
- 20 Points Per Game: Andre Iguodala was not good because he did not score 20 a game. Stephen Jackson is a superstar.
In order for anyone to take you seriously, you must first accept that Andre Iguodala is a terrific basketball player. We try to effuse forward thinking and constructive disagreements, but if you don't appreciate what Iguodala did for the Sixers for so many years, you're probably in the wrong place.
YOU ARE FORBIDDEN TO BOO HIM.
If you don't have a Twitter, get on Twitter. It is inherently stupid, but a lot of news and funny things happen there and there's a whole new language being developed without anyone really trying. All 10 LB writers are on Twitter.
And of course the LB twitter account co-ran by myself and LB founder, Jordan Sams, @Philly76ersblog.
- Awkward Tension is a good thing.
- Kinda can't believe Damien Wilkins made the Sixers.
- You will love Nick Young.
- You will hate Nick Young.
- Lots of Knee jokes.
- You can get cheap Sixers tickets on LB by rolling over "Team" and clicking on "Tickets" in the middle of the home page. Here.
- Don't mention Evan Turner unless you're prepared for a long discussion that would get you about as far as a dinner chat about abortion.
- Doug Collins handed us the easiest post of our lives about the players and their hopeful roles this season on note cards.
- Come for the basketball, stay for the poop.
I'm pumped for another season. And I'm thrilled that you kids are back to go through it together.
The 2012 Sixers: Clear Eyes, Full Hearts, Can't Lube.