Guess What! Allen Iverson Doesn't Know It's A Lockout

The actors that don't read reviews, players that don't read the papers, execs that don't follow the tracking boards. You've heard of them. Some would even say they exist. But they have at least some semblance of an idea as to what is going on in their respective fields. Writers strike, recession, etc.

WELL ALLEN IVERSON AIN'T GOT TIME FOR NO LOCKOUT.

According to Hoopsworld's Steve Kyler, he's reached out to some trainers (obviously) to get him lubed up and ready for a return to "the NBA". As you and I learned today, it's unlikely there will be a season this season. But if there's one thing we know about Iverson, it's that his sense of schedule has never been exemplary.

Imagine this scenario. Allen walks into an empty NBA practice facility and starts taking contested fadeaways. After a full 48 minutes and hitting 12 of 32 shots, he realizes that he's still alone. He pulls off his boxer shorts and walks supernakedly out into the street. Pat Croce jogs by. Allen taps him on the shoulder, but his hand goes straight through him Swayzely. Larry Brown and Derrick Coleman hold hands on a morning jaunt around the city. Allen goes for the double hug. More Swayze. He drops to his knees and cries for hours.

- Lockout.

This is worse than when Mugsy Bogues, Shawn Bradley, Larry Johnson, Patrick Ewing, and Charles Barkley lost their talent.