An Insomniac Baller’s Guide To Sleep With Allen Iverson and Tyronne Lue

Once again I lay awake as sleep eludes me.
Seems insane, like she keeps trying to seduce me,
and just as I’m about to drift off she deludes me,
and I’m back where I let off before she confused me.

1 AI over Lue, 2 AI over Lue…



By now all the sheep have leaped over the fence.
I tried to keep count, but kept drifting off,
on tangents about their jumps, against,
the premise of sheep leaping like dogs.

While I was keeping a tally,
of the sheep jumping in the valley.
I couldn’t help but wonder,
if someone hasn’t made a blunder.

In calling a sheep capable of leaping over a fence,
with legs that size it doesn’t make much sense.
Only kind of jumper you can make with a sheep,
is made of wool, a jumper you knit and keep.

To keep you warm on chilly nights,
while snatching away at fleeting remnants of sleep.
To huddle under and hold tight,
and latching on to any semblance of slumber deep.

How hard can it be to catch forty winks?
With a bard lulling me to sleep with a lullaby.
Although my choice of music may need a rethink,
as he screams at me Go to sleep itch! Die! butterfeather! Die!

And just when sleep seems a lost cause,
a flashback gives my thoughts a pause.
Forty winks remind me of forty eight points scored.
Dropped over the Lakers, in a manner worthy of lore.

To punctuate that performance, a jumper fading over Lue
which he jumped to contest, and staggered ready to collide with you.
But you side stepped, and he fell to the floor,
and gave him a look, as if to say "You really want more?"

A performance worthy of the great tongue wagger, clutch shot maker
As AI stepped over Lue, it couldn’t have been drawn any better way.
A symbolic gesture of swagger, as he buried a dagger in the Lakers
and glared at their bench, as they’d tried to distract his shot, to no avail.

I play the scene in my mind in an infinite loop.
While (me = awake){AI steps over Lue}
Lue, prostrate, projections of AI leaping over the noob.
as I count AIs stepping over, my eyelids blink a few.

I breathe deeper, peaceful images of ‘eff u Lue’ in my mind
and begin to nod off, eyes softly closed.
I make a mental note to share my find,
a guide to sleep that I’ve just composed.

To insomniac ballers having trouble falling asleep,
having no luck by drinking milk or counting sheep.
Consider an image far more peaceful, of AIs stepping over Lue,
and sink into sleep that’s restful, get your seven hours due.


- it’s not butterfeather, the word rhymes with it, barely. Look up ‘Go to sleep’ lyrics, a misleading song title as it effectively pounds all sleepiness out of you.
- tongue wagger here means MJ, he even does it in a video game.
- See AI cross Lue in 2001 and 2008. Seems I’m not the only one remembering that move over and over again.

A user-created LB joint. The Liberty Ballers staff does not contribute to FanPosts.

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