Sixers Sign Tony Battie, Calamity To Follow
by Michael Levin on Jul 21, 2010 12:51 PM PDT
in News
39 comments
This move could not have any less significance. Or at least it shouldn't. The 34-year-old Battie is Primoz Brezec and Francisco Elson with a less enjoyable name. Over the course of 13 seasons with 5 different teams, Battie averaged 6.4 points and 5.3 rebounds. With the exception of the 05-06 season playing with Dwight Howard in Orlando, his most "productive" years in Boston are way behind him. The 17% defensive rebounding percentage his past two years is indicative of his uselessness. He's one of those guys that makes you wonder how he's stayed in the league this long. And it's because people like Ed Stefanski see a name they recognize, a height above 6'8 and abandon all thought process afterward.
With Elton Brand, Marreese Speights, Spencer Hawes, and Jason Smith ahead of him, there should be zero playing time available for Battie. Zero. If he sniffs the court, it should be because his cocaine fell out of his pocket (Tony Battie=Mark Blount). I pray that Doug Collins understands this, uses him as a warm practice body, and continues to play the young guys with a chance of helping this team in the future. In the whimsical mind of Ed Stefanski, Battie will serve as a mentor to the young guys, teaching them all the wonderful things he's learned along the way. From Mr. Basketball Sense himself:
"We see Tony Battie as a player who can come in and give us additional depth in the front court while also providing a valuable veteran presence for our younger players both on and off the court."
It's a stupid, nothing of a signing, not worth getting worked up about (I am), but since the terms of the deal have yet to be announced, it might be. I will strangle a kitten if it's not one year for the veteran's minimum, and will commence blogging from jail. The most infuriating part about this, for me, is how they'd rather spend an unknown amount of money on a purposeless, old Tony Battie instead of Omar Samhan, Rod Benson, or James Augustine. Young guys can improve and play a role in the future. Battie will not. Signing this contract is a waste of ink. Communal prayer for Doug Collins not to play him. Front court depth be damned.
Text from Jordan: "Don't forget to say he sucks."
Oh and he sucks.
UPDATE 4:02 - Text from Derek: "You taking the battie story? Plz mention he sucks."
Look at this blog synergy. Tanner apparently would rather they have signed Michael Bay. At least the slower members of the crowd would ooh and ahh.
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Anyone under the age of 26 and over 6’8 would’ve been fine. ANYONE.
Liberty Ballers / Ridiculous Upside / @TAFKAMikeBourn
The Artist Formerly Known As The Artist Formerly Known As Michael Bourn
by Michael Levin on Jul 21, 2010 12:58 PM PDT up reply actions
I don’t know if Joey Dorsey is over 6’8"…
I write about basketball players with Ridiculous Upside. I know you'll love it.
by Scott Schroeder on Jul 22, 2010 10:19 PM PDT up reply actions
I’d 100x rather have Smith.
Liberty Ballers / Ridiculous Upside / @TAFKAMikeBourn
The Artist Formerly Known As The Artist Formerly Known As Michael Bourn
by Michael Levin on Jul 21, 2010 1:08 PM PDT up reply actions
Because if we trade him and Kapono, our team will sorely miss the hair gel contingent of fans.
Liberty Ballers / Ridiculous Upside / @TAFKAMikeBourn
The Artist Formerly Known As The Artist Formerly Known As Michael Bourn
by Michael Levin on Jul 21, 2010 1:19 PM PDT up reply actions
and fans of players named jason. (esp if Werth is traded now too… ) we will be bereft of Jason’s (and derivative spellings)
My god this city is falling to pieces
Liberty Ballers / Ridiculous Upside / @TAFKAMikeBourn
The Artist Formerly Known As The Artist Formerly Known As Michael Bourn
by Michael Levin on Jul 21, 2010 1:21 PM PDT up reply actions
BIG PUN’d
Liberty Ballers / Ridiculous Upside / @TAFKAMikeBourn
The Artist Formerly Known As The Artist Formerly Known As Michael Bourn
by Michael Levin on Jul 21, 2010 1:22 PM PDT up reply actions
HemorROY’d
Liberty Ballers / Ridiculous Upside / @TAFKAMikeBourn
The Artist Formerly Known As The Artist Formerly Known As Michael Bourn
by Michael Levin on Jul 21, 2010 1:23 PM PDT up reply actions
sorry for being redundant.
seriously, we went from hoping to acquire a second around pick for whiteside, varnado or alabi to tony friggin battie.
I don’t even like samhan but I would have preferred him to “Demetrius”
Derek Bodner
LibertyBallers || @derekbodner || derek.bodner@draftexpress.com
seriously, if you’re going to pick an “old role player who was marginally useful in his prime but now sucks”, don’t you pick one that actually at least fills a need? What is Battie’s strength at this point, anyway? Low percentage 17 footers ?
Derek Bodner
LibertyBallers || @derekbodner || derek.bodner@draftexpress.com
by Derek Bodner on Jul 21, 2010 1:09 PM PDT up reply actions
I heard he’s talented at leading pre-game stretches
Liberty Ballers / Ridiculous Upside / @TAFKAMikeBourn
The Artist Formerly Known As The Artist Formerly Known As Michael Bourn
by Michael Levin on Jul 21, 2010 1:09 PM PDT up reply actions
The guy shot 14-40 last year, unreal for a big man to shoot that low. I was all over Jarvis Varnado too, the kid would’ve been higher energy, had 10 times more quality minutes than Tony Battie could ever bring (by actually defending, rebounding, and blocking shots).
I would love to hear a disgruntled fan from another struggling franchise argue that his team had the worse off season. Short of an act of God with the 2nd overall pick you could easily say we bottomed out.
I mean granted Minnesota did make the big Milicic, Koufos, Beasley, Ridnour free agent/trades splash but I honestly paused when someone asked me who would have more wins this season.
That’s sad.
who – browser fart there – sorry…
Tiny Gallon, Dexter Pittman, Hassan Whiteside, Jerome Jordan – even Tibor Pleiss if we want to follow in the exotic named shoes of Brezec and Fransisco. Paulao Prestes, Alabi, Derrick Friggin “Im playing with Kobe now” Caracter.
sheez. Tony Battie… he must provide “leadership”
Signings like this
Are why 2nd round picks and legitimate training camp invites for potential roster spots are more important than people give them credit. So we don’t have to piss away money to a guy sitting on the bench that won’t contribute in any way now or 3 years from now.
Liberty Ballers / Ridiculous Upside / @TAFKAMikeBourn
The Artist Formerly Known As The Artist Formerly Known As Michael Bourn
by Michael Levin on Jul 21, 2010 1:29 PM PDT up reply actions
I said a while back that the Sixers were going to sign someone else, but this makes no basketball sense whatsoever!
Doug Collins talked about using him to close out games, because he’s concerned about his young bigs being ready.
My take is that the team has to learn what it is to lose a game, and how they are responsible for the outcome. Unless they have no clue at all about what they’re supposed to be doing out on the court, the best way for them to learn is to play. IF they’re going to take their lumps, so be it, nothing is a better incentive for a player to try harder than knowing that he let his team-mates down last time.
Further, if they think that Batttie is currently superior to any of our bigs and will serve as some type of “safety net” for their play implies that we have the worst front-line in the NBA.
I don’t understand why it’s so important to have an old over the hill, never was player to the roster. Battie sends a bad message to Jason Smith and Mo Speights and Hawes: it says you can still suck and make a salary in the NBA!
Ugggh. This has switched me to the anti-Stefanski side more than ever. I haven’t bitched about not selecting Derrick Favors for a while now, but if they did have him, then this signing would have been unnecessary.
It would have been much smarter to get a non-selected big with potential. They do have Brand as their veteran mentor anyway.
For some reason...
I always enjoyed playing with Tony Battie in NBA Live. He seemed to be one of those guys who was in explicably better in video games.
"I make love to pressure." - Stephen Jackson
"My passion is more passionate than ever." - Greg Paulus
How come...
…no one ever seems to pick up on Rod Benson? He seems like a pretty good player who could probably contribute something to someone (read: the Sixers, at least way more so than Tony Freaking Battie), at least as an end-of-the-rotation big who can defend and board and figure out how to get a few points. I’d rather have him out there than Jason Smith, at least.
How come GMs like Billy King and coaches like Eddie Jordan continue to get signed? How come Tommy Thibs just now got his first coaching job? Not a lot of NBA’rs think outside the box.
It doesn’t seem so out of the box to me to think “Hm. Young guy, seems to have some potential, does the things we need, available on the cheap, would be so psyched to play that he would kill it every time he sniffs the floor. Let’s sign him up. If nothing else, he could be a useful practice body for our elite selection of big men.”
But then again, that’s probably why I will never work in the NBA. Not that I wouldn’t take the gig if the Evil Empire called. I suspect I couldn’t do any worse than Ed Stefanski, and would almost have to be better.
If it was up to me, I’d hire you over Stefanski. IF you have to sign somebody, take a shot, don’t waste a roster spot on someone you know can’t really play! Crap for what they’re paying him, I’d take of everyone’s laundry! And, that would be more of a contribution than Battie will make to this team this season!
i see what u did there nicko
"I'm a beast ready to be unleashed." -- Paul George
by Tanner Steidel on Jul 21, 2010 3:21 PM PDT up reply actions
Would have really liked to see Samhan in a sixers uni.
Battie, was good in NBA Live 04, actually maybe even 03. I don’t get it either. You could have paid the same money to a young guy like Samhan who will compete, or at the very least, push others to compete.
You said it best, see name, recognize name, sign name to unknown but possibly large sum of money.
“If he sniffs the court, it should be because his cocaine fell out of his pocket”
That was by far the best line. I laughed out loud at work. How is it possible to disappoint sixers fans with a vet min. signing (I’m assuming) a year after we had Brezec on our team (this is a rhetorical question)?
"I admire his competitiveness. As much as I admire it, I thought that he was trying too hard."- Eddie Jordan
And to think Theo Ratliff and his 60 year old knees were available. If you want to add a veteran to help mentor the young guys, and provide something productive on the court, at least pick a player who was genuinely productive in his prime.
And Shouldn’t Elton Brand be providing the veteran leadership to our young bigs.
Unfortunatly
Ratliff signed with a contender and one of our bitter rivals The Lakers. For less than 2 mill. I guess he’s gunna get his ring now.
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