Can you believe that it's been one whole year since the last time we celebrated? It seems like it was just yesterday I was airing my grienvances at then coach Eddie Jordan. In said airing, I complained about Eddie's non-chalant attitude towards the concept of defense. Looking back at that era, I could have aired o so many more grievances than I could ever want. But enough about the festivus of past, it's time to come together and join hands for our second installment.
After last night's loss to the Celtics, I knew there was no more time to dilly-dally when it comes to my favorite holiday. I turned up my favorite Bell Biv Devoe record on full blast, went back into the ol' storage closet, worked past all my Kirk Cameron dioramas and paintings, and dug out the all and mighty Festivus pole. As "Poison" was just about to end, the glorious hunk of aluminum stood proud next to my life-size cardboard cutout of Dennis Haskins. Festivus could officially begin.
And just in case you're inexplicably uneducated in the tradition of Festivus:
And in the true spirit of this wonderful holiday, the annual Airing of Grievances and Feats of Strength.
I got a lot of problems with you people! And today, you're gonna hear about 'em!
Wise words spoken by a wise man. My grievance is a fairly recent one which I'll air yet again. Mike wrote a piece about it after the loss to the Lakers last Friday. You've all heard it before, and you're going to hear it again. Evan Turner needs minutes. I find it unfathomable that he did not get at the very least half of Jodie Meeks' minutes last night in Boston. I find it absurd that Lou Williams continues to get 20+ minutes while Turner is glued to his seat. He was drafted to be a key part in the future of this franchise, he needs playing time to work out the kinks. Keeping him tied up on the bench will just delay his development. If the overall goal is to get him to play off the ball with Jrue Holiday, put him in those game situations allowing him to work through the growing pains (first Kirk Cameron, now his show? I'm on fire). So please Doug Collins, listen to my grievance, and let Turner play.
At last year's Festivus, Jordan ended up wrestling sideline reporter Jaime Maggio in the tradition that is the Feats of Strength. Maggio is long gone now, holding down the sideline duties on Sundays for the NFL on FOX. So the question must be raised, who will Jordan have to pin this year to end Festivus. That choice will be yours.
The Human Fund (money for people) is waiting for your donation. Get out there and strike against H&H Bagels. HAPPY FESTIVUS!
Who will Jordan have to pin to end Festivus 2010?
Doug Collins (11 votes)
The New Situation aka Spencer Hawes (6 votes)
Marc Zumoff (7 votes)
Meredith Marakovits (15 votes)
Primoz Brezec (9 votes)
Dongaila (25 votes)
The Peja Heads (4 votes)
Dianna Agron (4 votes)
Official Liberty Ballers Musician Phil Collins (8 votes)
89 total votes